brozen foner

I’ve never really been a “coffee person”.  Mostly because I am a “cigarette person” and when you combine to two you become “Miss Davenport’s breath person”.  Miss Davenport was my English teacher in 4th grade.  Every time she opened her mouth to say, “WHO PUT GLUE IN MY MUG” I’d half expect to see her [...]

Read Full Post »

any major dude

Last night was my first night alone in my new apartment.  It’s hard to plan for something you’ve never done before, so when it came time to fantasize about eating my Spiderman macaroni and cheese with the butt flap down on my union suit watching Angels With Filthy Souls I realized I… didn’t have any silverware.  Plenty of cups though!   
I tried for [...]

Read Full Post »

And the bells were ringing.

I celebrated Valentine’s Day the way any young woman my age celebrates Valentine’s Day.  In her pajamas trying really hard not to cry at the precious nocturnal animals singing along to Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” in the new Mountain Dew energy drink commercial.   
Eventually I mustered (mustard) up the courage to throw on a pair [...]

Read Full Post »