My snail tube is bleeding.

My mother flew in from Italy last night (and boy are her arms tired).  For the past 7 months her food options have been red sauce or white sauce, so I took her out for her very first meal back on American soil.  It was night time and the fluorescent parking lot lights took the [...]

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Hey God, I think you owe me a great big apology.

I feel like middle school all over again.  I hung out with the "bangers" (not of the finger kind) and dated one of two Jewish twins.  Scott and Chris Gould.  Chris was the more normal, likeable, conventionally attractive brother.  Scott brought tiny action figures to school, wore flannel over t-shirts in the summertime, and never talked [...]

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If my cat could spit, he would.

It’s probably my fault for naming him Tough Guy, isn’t it?  The photograph above could very easily be a picture of the new addition to my four legged family. 
Today marks his sixth day in my home.  I say “marks” and I mean “marks”.  There’s a tally of scratches all over my person.  Just when I think I’ve [...]

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