The Secret Circle

While digging through more of my pre-pubescent meanderings in my old English journal I came across another entry I’d like to share.  I wrote this with someone named John in mind on Valentine’s Day, 1995. 

I’m pretty sure I was in secret love with him.   

February 14, 1995  

Dear John,  

Everywhere I go I think of you!  Even on the weekend you are on my mind.  My grandmother and grandfather say I light up like a flashlight whenever I hear your name!  Well maybe they’re right, but nevertheless I can’t help but think of you. 

I dream of the day we can go to the beach and walk barefoot through the sand.  I will bring my new waterproof radio in case it gets wet in a cloudburst.   

Can I meet you after school tomorrow?  We can meet near the windmill.  There’s a horse stable nearby and we can go horseback riding all by ourselves.  

I can’t wait to see your face in reality and not just your name on my notebook.   

Yours Forever,  April  

I didn’t stop laughing at myself for over an hour after reading the part about my new waterproof radio.  I solemnly swear to teach my children early on that real dates consist of more than barefoot walks on the beach, windmills, and horseback riding.     

I think I wrote this when I was in my “witch phase”.  I read L.J. Smith’s Secret Circle trilogy over and over and imagined myself as the lead character, Cassie Blake.  A shy Californian who moves to New Salem to live with her grandmother and later finds out she’s a witch.

My dad’s wife had a book of spells in the study and one day after school I took it to my room to learn a love spell.  It involved clipping fresh roses from the garden and as luck would have it, there was a rose bush in my backyard. 

I filled a bowl with water, thanked the rose before I plucked its petals, and drop them into the bowl one by one as I recited the spell.  This was also to be done in the nude by the light of a single white candle, but I think I chickened out and wore underwear.   

And that’s probably why it didn’t work.