I don’t lift my leg when I pee.

Do you ever find yourself behaving eerily like one of your pets?  Luckily, you won’t find me ironically overeating weight control cat food like Tough Guy or eating cockroaches under my bed while Ben’s sleeping. 
Okay, you might find me eating bugs under the bed but that’s just because I’m protein deficient.  It’s a disease.  [...]

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