I’ve been avoiding this topic for quite some time. For the most part, I didn’t want to be dooced before I put in my notice. I also didn’t want to tell anyone about the morning I wept in my boss’ office while giving said notice.
Hello, awkward. Please, grab yourself some real estate in my life (lots of it). The only thing worse than crying at work is crying while eating. Bonus points are awarded if you’re crying while eating a dessert.
I kept waiting and waiting for the right moment, one where I was feeling less decrepit. It was just one more thing I had to part with. Blergh.
I can’t say I’ll miss the white noise generators because I’m convinced that if I removed the grates I’d expose alien nests brimming with cocooned corpses, but I will miss some of the actual humans in the building. Especially my old buddy, J, on our Janitorial staff.
I crave his brief, yet conclusive film reviews on our daily walks toward his bus stop and my stupid gym.
Re: Jumper (2008)
“HE JUST JUMPS EVERYWHERE!”
He was on the money. That’s all he did! I watched it and he just jumped everywhere.
It should also come as no surprise that a week after I get my braces off I’ll be moving back in with one of my moms for a while. You’re a woman! No, you’re not. But you’re very close! I’ll be living in her closet, working, and saving to move again to my final destination, Austin, Texas.
I joked with someone recently that I’m relocating because I landed a sweet Assistant Manager position at the Taco Cabana. I’m pretty sure they took me seriously. What I really want to do in Austin sounds just as ridiculous to some of my family members.
Special effects make-up! *crickets*
I guess some of them expect me to drone out now that I’m almost 27, unwed, and not planning on enrolling in any more college courses that don’t involve coloring.
I’m girded and ready to field their questions. There will be many since no one ever left Texas.
Now I’m no clairvoyant, but I believe these will be the first three:
1. Are you a lesbian?
2. Why aren’t you pregnant?
3. Do you want fries with that?
Ok, I admit, I have been following your saga with interest for some time now, not like a stalker exactly but now I see your career “arc’, I understand everything. Well, at least one thing. You’re a goddam artist, girl! So go on, wow us with your elevated sense of color. Rotting corpse? no problem! Spiders coming out of eyeballs? gotcha! *sigh* I’m so proud of you. As will be your various relatives when you start raking it in!!!!
Good luck! I think it sounds exciting. Not so much the in the closet part (for lots of reasons), but the moving somewhere to do what you want to do sounds amazing.
Beth – Why can’t children adopt their own parents? I’ll submit a request for you when I finally become house broken. I wouldn’t want to put you out.
Ordy – Thanks, doll. And the closet is actually quite large, so don’t worry. I think I just set us all up for making jokes about me coming out of it! Hyuck.