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Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Intermission.

I thought I should share this photograph since I spoke a great deal about this woman during the cancer scare last year.  This is Dr. Barbera Honnebier (pronounced HONEY-BEAR), the plastic surgeon that specialized in children’s maxillofacial reconstructive surgery at the time, but took my case on like *excuse my language* a fucking superhero. My only explanation for her existence is a gift from the universe.  I don’t even think she’s human.  I’m in love with her.  She let me keep my very own face on my head that another doctor wanted to Frankenstein back together using pieces of skin from my shoulder.  She’s magic.  Just look at her.  “Thank you” doesn’t even cut it.

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Kidding.

I was not!

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“That’s a wrap!”

On July 3rd, the day before our zombie shoot, I took off work early to tie up some loose ends.  We were still in desperate need of a good brain for the break room scene, so I called the costume shop I’ve been in and out of since we began this madness.  It was second on the list of the greatest phone calls I’ve ever made. 

(First is the prank call I made to an unknown older male back in early 90’s.  During a momentary lapse of reason I answered “Sandra Bullock, with Spiegel Magazine…” when our victim dared to ask who was on the other end of the line.  He then proceeded to yell at me and threatened to call the police, so I cried into the phone because I was and still am a total panty waste.)

Anyway, back to the present.

*ring ring*

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for brains.  Do you have any available?”

“Hm, I think we have a variety of them, can you hold and I’ll take a look?” 

“No problem!” 

*someone else picks up the line*

“Who are you holding for?”

“Oh, I’m not sure… but she’s looking for brains.”

“Okay, that’s Jennifer, hold please!”

*Jennifer picks back up*

“Thank you for holding.  I have two brains for you, would you like me to hold them?”

“Yes, that would be awesome.  I’ll be by soon to scope them out!”

“Great, they’ll be at the back counter.” 

Upon arriving I made my way to the back of the shop where another customer was purchasing other assorted severed limbs on the Cannibal Meat Market line. 

I recognized the much older woman behind the counter as the same lady who offered us an armful of… well, arms a couple weeks prior. 

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I have brains on hold.”

“Oh yes, of course, here they are!”

The other customer and I exchanged glances and nodded silently as if to say, “Ah, another member of Fright Club.”   Then he did a double take and shouted, “Wait, you have brains here?!”

It was at this very moment that I fought the urge to hold both treasured organs of my conquest high in the air and scream, “I HAVE THE POWER!”

Instead I quickly decided that an impression of He-Man in heels and corporate office attire wouldn’t go over very well and chose to do the right thing by offering him one of the two.  I was serious and polite.

“I’m not going to use this one if you’d like it.”

It was obviously the least convincing of the two, but we both knew that sharing is caring.  However, he declined. 

That entire evening was spent mixing up a flawless recipe for fake blood given to us by Tony Elwood.  Peanut butter is the secret (and tasty) ingredient.  (Note:  This also prevents clothing stains!)  Ben also devised a “blood cannon” using aquarium tubing and a bike pump.  Photos of all the debauchery can be seen on Flickr

I also overcame my fear of being in front of the camera and quickly became the token drooler of blood.  It all went down my shirt and by the end of the day it had filled my belly button and glued it shut like Barbie’s. 

I can’t thank our undead friends, family, and volunteers enough for making this happen.  Our giant, gooey melting pot of ideas came together better than I could have ever imagined. 

We’re digitizing the footage this week, so stay tuned in about a month for our final product.

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Re: Umbrella Hat

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Hold Please

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